What do the films No Strings Attached and Friends with Benefits have in common? Other than the fact that they both feature ridiculously good-looking actors, both exist on the premise of an ‘unconventional’ sexual friendship wherein the pair are startled to learn (spoiler alert) they have feelings for each other. In real life, however, the feelings aren’t always two-sided. The cliché of friends with benefits falling for each other just isn’t realistic in a world so often filled with unrequited love.

Catching feels for a FWB (friend with benefits) is pretty common according to many sex experts. As Sheri Meyers argues,”you may enter the situation going, ‘I don’t want commitment, this is so much easier,’ but the minute you start kissing, the oxytocin stars flowing and your emotions can get in the way.”

The bitter truth is that there is no one-size fits all solution to navigating a ‘let’s be more than friends with benefits’ relationship. The easiest way to push someone away is to put an expectation on them to feel the same way you do. Patience is your best friend. If you let someone decide on their own how they want to move forward in the relationship, you are taking a step back and giving them the control. If you give them an ultimatum it does the complete opposite!